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Always Who You Were

by Cthulha

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  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Cthulha "Always Who You Were" CD
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    "Always Who You Were" CD in custom grand piano packaging featuring artwork by Pretty Boy Floyd and Jessica Chao.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Always Who You Were via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
All My Grit 03:03
I put all my love all my grit like a bumble bee in an ice cube but it drips but it drips I put all my faith all my glory underneath the sink in a coffee can but it leaks but it leaks I jammed all my hope all my patience into a knot in the mulberry tree but the moths eat, eat , eat time erodes all my best intentions to preserve
2.
Blue Glass 03:01
Wind whistles over blue glass raising the vellum on my arms I hold myself and think of you my marrow chilled I miss your voice lonely western wind pulls the atmosphere over my head, my blanket I hold myself and think of you
3.
Break Me 03:27
worthless words fall like rocks in my abdomen empty fall endlessly flutter distorted I try to speak my tongue made of stone mute stuttering flake, crack, crumble gasp break me open I’d love to breathe you in
4.
Ancient Gods 04:35
They live among the deep drift in inky black unchanged we rally cry and kill unable to evolve a perfect spiral ancient gods they don’t notice you your an atom in her body She blinks your kind have perished she inhales and climates change she rests in the sea giving birth to the next million years a perfect spiral ancient gods they don’t notice you your an atom in her body pray all you want to her heart beats decades a single thought is the length of your generations love your moment recognize your mortality
5.
Bless my reckless heart, my faith in god is me
6.
Cloudy Grey 03:58
Dust storms on the horizon billowing cloudy grey it’s too dry for you my amphibian too dry we will be we will be consumed our lungs replaced with cloudy grey so we dine on ambrosia lest the gods could make us reptiles so we dream so we dream of other things to breathe
7.
La Loca 05:06
She waits unburdened by blood she is everywhere awake and free awake and free pray pray she left the earth to carve a home in the stars the stars she creates new ritual santa La Loca she is everywhere awake and free awake and free oh pray pray she left us took our blame with her with her so we could be free
8.
Iron Red 05:09
Dirt devils filling her lungs iron red it gets in her teeth salt sweat stings her eyes wandering not lost wandering not lost an intentional missing person sun blisters skin flakes off visions of flight eyes roll back birds circle a storm of feathers and dirt wandering not lost wandering not lost an intentional missing person wind picks up she never hit the ground her memory blacks out the sun a thousand wings beat over the horizon
9.
When I Go 05:18
When I go I go alone on a raft of my own making
10.
Two Grackles 05:34
Like two grackles on an electric wire we can laugh about how hot the asphalt is and we can laugh at the oppressive atmosphere and the misfortune of apes and one by one we will undo the tennis shoes and laugh about who and what they land on Laugh so we don’t cry

about

Special thanks to Matron Records for supporting and making this gigantic project happen! From the bottom of my heart, my deepest appreciation and gratitude for Eliza Lutz, AirDance NM and AirDance Art Space, Adri De La Cruz, Marisa Demarco, Carlos Garcia, Drake Hardin, Nelson Crane, Kris Kerby, Lilah Rose, Jessica Billey, Rosie Hutchinson, Henry Hutchinson, Lazarus Letcher, Tanya Nunez, Elena Maietta, Stephanie Graner, Jessica Chao, Marya Jones, Hannah Colton, Mauro Woody, Christy Cook, Gena Lawson, Joseph Cortez, Beth Floyd, Faron Stout, Christina Cavaleri, Charis Hurst, Jeff Andersen, 88 keys, ABQ Piano and Organ Service, Jose Martin Garcia, Alexander D’Von Boggs, Music Go Round, my family for a lifetime of support, Gatas y Vatas and Titwrench, Ghost, Tannex, and my teachers Chris Shultis, Gerald Chavez and Stephen Montoya.

credits

released February 16, 2019

All songs written by Monica Demarco/Cthulha
Vocals, Piano, Cello, Bass, Electronics- Monica Demarco
Guest Vocals- Marisa Demarco, Mauro Woody, Gena Lawson, Christy Cook, Lilah Rose
Violin- Rosie Hutchinson and Jessica Billey
Viola- Lazarus Letcher
Bass- Tanya Nunez
Drums - Kris Kerby and Drake Hardin
Electronics - Marisa Demarco

Engineered/mixed by Drake Hardin
Mastered by Carlos Garcia
Album art by Adri De La Cruz

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Cthulha New Mexico

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